doing the dirty dirty

I feel like my entire body is saturated with dirt. Oh not outside dirt, but the kind of dirt that is on the inside weighing the heart down. There are two known factors that contribute to this not so fun feeling.

 1. My neighbor has been having sex all day, which I can hear through the door that connects my room to hers. I can hear E V E R Y T H I N G. I am so weary of anything sexual and I feel so violated. ew. 

2. I feel like I have failed in all things. School. Relationships. my faith. 

The only antidote is the Lord. However, I feel like I am not ready to get rid of this dirt. Insane right? Its going to be a process to feel like I'm on top of the world again. With everything. Blaaaa Processes suck!!!!!