an intangible experience

Hello, my name is Samantha Lou Owens. I am a Senior at Mizzou and this summer I went to India. Wait...did I go to India? Maybe it was a dream? NO...wait. I still have my broken toe. IT WAS REAL!


my broken toe that I broke the first week of ministry. GO SAM!

So, I apologize to you whom I have not told about my experience in India. I realize that I have become reserved on speaking about the topic. Not because I had an awful time, but because I have no possible way of explaining everything that happened. When people ask me, "How was India?" everything rushes at me. Should I tell them about how the Lord totally destructed whom I was and how that left me totally and unreservedly in LOVE with Him? Or how about the dead man that I saw right outside my friends house in the slums? Or how women have almost no respect in India by men? Or about my little nursery kids that I fell in love with? How the hospitality in India is IMPECCABLE? Haha! Yes, there are many things from all over the emotional spectrum that come to mind. One of the questions that might be going through your mind I can put to rest right now. Yes. Yes, the cows DO walk everywhere. They also poop everywhere, which I particularly loved having their excrement all over my chacos. I cannot even TELL you how much I dreamed of eating one of those darn holy cows.




yes, even cows go to the beach.

Anyways, being back I have happily enjoyed eating one of them holy cows...with pig added. Of course, being without meat for 2 months, I had to get a mini burger.
Sorry about going on the tandem. NOW BACK! So, India was the hardest experience of my life. Like all hard challenges, it become the most life changing experience that I have ever had. In India, I realized my authority in Christ. I realized that I hear the voice of the Lord. I realized that I am truly FREE from my sin. I even got baptized in the Arabian Sea by my good friend Emily Starr WITH my other bestie Kari Collins. I met so many awesome people, drank tons of chai, and walked around soaked by the monsoon rain. :) So for those who want to ask me about India, please ask, but be prepared to have to ask some questions besides "How was India?". ha and sorry that this is so not organized. Meh...welcome to my life!

My Beloved

"I am my beloved's, and his desire is for me." Songs of S 7:10
In every woman's heart, there is a desire to be desired, to be pursued, to be loved. The L has been really teaching me about His heart for me and the depth of His love. I have always known that He is a jealous G-d and that He will continue to pursue me with a vengeance, wooing me with beautiful sunsets, a community full of love, and other little things that capture my heart. However, I have just not been able to let myself fall deeply in love with Him. I could not understand how to do that since I viewed Him as the Maker of all things.
I was reading Hosea just the other day and verses 14-20 really opened my eyes. The L wants us to call Him husband rather then G-d. He wants us to view Him as a Lover as well as the Creator. What really got my attention was how in Hosea, the L is speaking of prostitutes. I have always viewed prostitutes to be well...the definition of the word. It was in reading that passage that He opened my eyes to the reality of things.

I am a prostitute. You are a prostitute. WE are ALL prostitutes.
We sell ourselves to things that are not of the L. Tv. Computers. Jobs. Money. We are forgetting who we are married to.
What is so amazing about all of this is that G-d still DESIRES us! He WANTS us! He will do whatever it takes to HAVE us! I mean He went as far as to send His only son to die for us. Yeah...that is true love right there folks. The very definition of LOVE.

So the L is wooing me here in India. He is telling me over and over that I am His Beloved. Even at this moment, the word is written in Henna on my foot reminding me of this beautiful message.

"For Your Maker is your husband, the L of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the G-d of the whole earth he is called. For the L has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off says your G-d." Isa-ah 54:5-6

The L is moving here. He is wooing the souls of the people who seem the farthest. Remember Paul!

My journey is thus commencing.

I was in the Maneater worshiping at Monday Night Worship!

Wow. I can't believe that it is here! India. Woah.
Tomorrow, I leave for Georgia at precisely 10 a.m. There I will train for a couple of days and will get to know my teammates during that time. I will be IN India the 9th but am leaving the 8th. Basically, I am traveling for a day and a half. Talk about a LOOONG time!

So, how am I feeling?
Peaceful. Calm. Tranquil. Serene. Unruffled.
I mean come on. I am only going to a country that I have never been before where I can't speak an ounce of the language.
Yaaaa, I lied. These are all words NOT attributing to how I feel! haha!

I would say I am nervous, but that would not be the right word. It's more like INTIMIDATED! I have absolutely NO CLUE of what to expect and for some reason that makes me incredibly intimidated.
I am vulnerable. I do not know the people, language, culture, anything! Never before have I been put in a situation like this. Even when I went to Honduras, I could at least get by with Spanish. I am out of my element. Because of this, there is one thing that I do know what to expect.
Change.
My life is in the Lord's hands completely. I am stepping out in faith, going to a foreign country for 2 months (longer then I have ever been from home), and all I am able to do is cling to His glorious dirty feet. I like to think that the Lord's feet are dirty because He is constantly moving. He has already walked the beautiful dirt streets of India. He knows every nook and cranny of the place, every single person's name. Basically, I got the CONNECTION! The Lord is faithful. He has me going on this trip to a country that I know NOTHING of for a reason and NO WAY will He just leave me hanging.
So, yes, I am intimidated, but I am not worried or scared. The Lord's got my back. You want to know why there is not any armor for the back? It is because whatever we face with the Lord on our side we will defeat. Nothing will come behind us because the Lord is in front of us. Yeaaaahh...awesome right?!

So, I am off. To learn how to become a better woman, servant, and follower of the one and only Jesus Christ, Lord of all things. Holy Spirit, rain down on us!

Psalms 37- Read it and soak it in.

Btw, just a shout out to my k-life girls. HOLLA! Told you I would. :) Miss you guys and love you!

Peace out homeskillets. I'm going to go eat me some Indian food.
Samantha Lou Owens

INDIA! Wait...whaaaat?????

UM YEAH! India. haha! Still wrapping my mind on that.

Okay so rewind. I have been having trouble again this semester concerning school. I just don't get why I am school. Yeah, yeah...I get the whole "having a diploma will open up doors" thing. I do! However, I feel like I am being dragged along rocks.

I found out that I will not be graduating in December as I thought. Long story to that in itself. This whole discovery made me think..well maybe I should take a year off. Go on the World Race in October (which almost ALL the countries are in Latin America...HEAVENLY CHORUS SINGING!), ya know? The only thing that was keeping me back was my k-life girls. Awhile back my roommate Courtney prophesied to me saying that God has me here for my girls. Now, I know that some of you may be IFFY on spiritual gifts. I believe them full heartedly, therefore, I believed what she was saying to me.

So, if I am here for my girls, why was I feeling myself pulled towards a break? Why did my contentment and motivation go down the drain?
I started to look into my options and also continually praying. I knew that the decision that I made (no matter what people though of it) it would be for the Lord.
I found some summer options. India, Nicaragua, and Bolivia. Of course, one would think that I would be naturally pulled to the Spanish speaking areas.

ERRR WRONG! India. Yeah, WHAT?! INDIA! India has never been on my radar. Neither has Asia! I prayed it over. God confirmed. India.
So...INDIA! I will be working with women who are rescued from prostitution, in the slums, AIDS patients, and orphans. 2 months. I will live in India for two months. Haha! I repeat because it still has not hit me.
The question that I have been getting...Am I excited?
Am I excited? Hmm...yes! Right now, I am a little numb to everything. I am still trying to finish this semester (which is SUPER busy) and also on top of that figuring out how to raise $4, 950 for this summer. This also is so unusual. so sudden. Oh man...is God so unpredictable or what?!

This is really going to strengthen my faith in the Lord. Faith that He will bring in the money. that He will take care of me. I have always said I have a incredible faith. I just... have faith. Now, I say that with the deepest humility. I do not think I am better at the whole faith thing then the other person. This trip has especially revealed my doubts in the Lord. I don't doubt that He can do it. I know that He can do it but i don't believe that He can do it. I want to believe. I just have never seen it. I have never seen the Lord do the unimaginable. I have always heard about it. I am a very weak person indeed. :) However, God is working. I am excited because my faith will strengthen. He will reveal Himself in a way to me that will be with me for a lifetime. He's cool like that! teehee. Our God is a great God! Glory to His name!

YEP! Samantha Lou Owens is headed to India! Better be afraid Satan, because I have the Lord in me. You canNOT touch me. I am the daughter of the High King. I will proclaim His name wherever He sends me. And thats to India! haha. oh india.

The significance of today.

Today isn't just an ordinary day. It is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day! This subject, Human Trafficking, is very near and dear to my heart. I cry out for the 27.1 million people who are enslaved by human trafficking. They are slaves. They are treated no better then animals. They, daughters and sons of the Lord, are seen as things to be abused and used. Each year, 800,000 victims are smuggled into human trafficking. Women and children take up to 80% of that number! 161 out of 192 countries are involved with trafficking.

32 BILLION dollars are made each year. 32 BILLION DOLLARS!

What has our world gone to?
Little girls are being raped repeatedly by men. Women are being treated no better then dirt.
When did it become like this?
What justified that this is okay?

Our world is broken. Our world is shattered. Our world...more then ever...needs a Savior.

Our God is moving! He hears the cry of the broken! HE HEARS! He hears and he will answer...possibly through you.
I beseech you, do something about this! Don't just sit by and let this happen. These people, these beautiful wonderful creations of the Lord, are hopeless. They are completely and totally hopeless. Dwell on how it would feel to be hopeless. Have you ever truly been hopeless? The feeling of despair that would accompany that. Even if you are not a believer of God or even religious, I am talking to you as well. These people are human beings. They are seen as gems in the eyes of the Lord. I ask all to somehow, whether it is through prayer or even joining a club that raises awareness, do SOMETHING!
God is listening. He hears. He is just waiting to BURST OUT in all of His glory!

Our job as Christians and followers of Christ is to bring HOPE to the HOPELESS!

(where I got the stats... http://www.bible-knowledge.com/blog/index.php/2009/09/29/human-trafficking-statistics/ )

The World Race: United States edition

For those who are around me, they have constantly heard me talk about The World Race. It is a missions trip that lasts 11 months and you go to 11 countries. I literally pour over the current (or past) World Racer's blogs. I know, slightly creeperish. I have memorized names by reading their blog entries so when I talk about it with people and they say they have a friend on there...I know the name. Oh yeah...the guy with the red hair who lives in michigan and has 5 brothers and sisters...I know him! Yeah...I know I need help. It is my deepest prayer and desire to go on the trip. Lately, God revealed to me through a friend that my passion for international missions is not something that isn't of Him. He put that desire there and has huge plans for me. Can i hear a AMEN! AAMMMEEENN!!!! Hearing that, I knew that what I thought about my future, what I thought was going to happen, is going to happen. Not necessarily the world race, but I am going to be a missionary internationally. I am going to be a missionary. That is my job title. Missionary of the LORD! Can i hear a AMEN! AMEEENN!!! Because of my heart for other cultures, it has been hard keeping my soul content at being in the United States. To create a passion for what God has called me to do here. I am a k-life leader and lead two 7th grade girl bible studies. I LOVE these girls as if they were my own. I have a passion for telling them about Jesus. For coming up beside them and carrying them through the awful awkward years of middle school. I can't be letting my mind wander, or my heart, to places that are not here and now. God put these girls (something He also revealed through my friend) in my life specifically so that I can speak truth into their lives. I want to give them a joy that only Jesus can provide. So, WHY am I looking towards the future! If I can't focus on what God has given me here and now, how will I be able to ever do that even overseas? There will always be something more "exciting" in the future. Contentment is the main word. I need to be content.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God"- Philippians 4:6
or how about when Paul says...
"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content....In any and EVERY circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO STRENGTHENS ME."- Phil. 4:11-

What I like most about that sentence is that Paul says "I have learned..." He's HUMAN! woah. Just like I am learning and will continue to learn, the fullest way and to my full potential that I can serve the Lord is to be content. To be not anxious.
My best friend Becca said that I should treat my time hear as The World Race: United States edition. It may not have all the languages and different smells as other countries have, but I can make it as fun and exciting as I want it to be! I can serve God here too! I am here in the United States for the Lord and to serve Him by serving my girls. I mean hey...I get adventure out of being with them. I have been Aladdin, played countless games of Murder in the dark, been glittered upon, been treated like a jungle gym, talked about the latest boyfriend (which seem to come and go every week), and most of all talk about the awesomness of God. Uhh...sounds like the World Race to me!

dawn of the present

So, I am sitting here in Memorial Union (surprise surprise) at 7:01 a.m. Now, those who know me are thinking, "What is she doing up that early? How did she part with her pillow?" Well, the answer is, I neglected my pillow last night and decided to stay up all night. All NiGHTER WAHOO!! COLLLEGE!!! I sat in Pershing all night slaving over my psychology book when I would rather be salivating all over my pillow. Don't worry there is a point to this...I think. There might be. I plead the sleep deprived excuse if this is absolutely idiotic. Anyways, as I stuttered out of Pershing at 6 in the morning, all I could think of was to get to Memorial as fast as I could because 1. it was FREEZING 2. I was tired and 3. did I mention HOW COLD IT WAS!? For some reason, maybe because I was slightly delirious, I started to ponder over where I was going in my life. What I had to do. Take notice that all is said in a future tense. The Lord really brought this to my view as I walked, teeth chattering, to Memorial. I have been looking to the future waaaay to much. Gotta get my Gpa up (future). Gotta study abroad (future). Have to do well on this test (usually tests, FUTURE). I have turned into one of this rushing through life sort of persons! I have constantly looked to what I HAVE to do, forgetting that I need to dwell in the present as well. I feel that God is present. I mean I say this because of course He will and forever be in the future. However, we can't ever plan God. We can't plan what He will do, what He SHOULD do. We can only look at the now with the Lord. That is what I mean He is a present God. In looking into the future, I have failed to focus on what KNOWS the future...the Lord. UHHH HELLOOO SAMANTHA!!!! WATCHAAA DOING??!!! Yeah that was basically what my head screamed. It could have been God but I like to think that He would be more quiet. haha! Oh and after this wonderful epiphany of a moment, God asked me to dance....in the middle of Lowry. Yeeeaaaahhhh...did I mention that our God is a mysterious God? So I mean who am I to say no to the Being who CREATED the world. Yep, I danced amid a backdrop of the beautiful purple and pink sunrise. I think I felt angels dancing too. :) Now, the dancing wasn't David-dance-your-clothes-off kind of dancing. It was more of a sway and toe tap little ditty. Oh, the day when I won't feel self-conscious. Anyways, I hope there was a point. Oh, and I told God that He can dance with me at sunSET...I will NOT be getting up any time soon to dance with Him at sunrise. HEEECKKKK NOOO!!!!

I LOVE MY JESUS!!!

Fall time! hey fall please redeem yourself...

SO, it is officially October 1st. Fall has occupied the lovely state of missouri for about, i would say, a week. The leaves are colorful, scarves have emerged, and steamy cups of pumpkin spice lattes are floating about. Yep, FALL! So far, there have been some definate great/bad moments. Yes, I know. How can there already be moments in only a week? Well, for those who do not know me, WELCOME TO THE LIFE OF SAMANTHA!! My life goes at the speed of a cheetah on a sugar high. The sunnyside (or should i say the scarves, lattes, and colorful side) of life consists of the fact that I have joined K-life. I am now a jr. high leader and it is simply GLORIOUS! I have finally found something that i have a passion about during school. Going to klub, which is tuesdays, rejuvenates me. It is what keeps me going. I get to be totally ridiculous, totally unreserved once a week. You know what I love...I love that I am now friends with people that my friends at CRU do not know. I have finally stepped outside. This is MY thing. Anyways, now for the bad. I'm not going to go into it because I do not want to depress those who read this.
1. I already failed a class. Yes. I know. It was a month and it was totally stupid.
2. I got told that I look like I am about to cry all the time...WHAAAATTT??!!! I am very joyful. Where is this crying business at? haha!
3. There was this whole scandal with my kamp. It was reeling.

Although there is alot of bad moments in the first week of fall, I have high hopes that fall will redeem itself. I am not a lingerer on the past and the bad moments. Bring on the scarves, lattes, and crunchy fall leaves!!

my identity

So recently, I have been starting to get into finding who I am. I have also been studying the totality of who God is. We all generally understand and follow 2 Gods....We know the God who can smite us and then we know the God of love. It is really hard for a person to combine the two and understand the whole Almightiness of the Lord. Not that we are meant to. But a person can try. :) So i wrote this...Its not any good. It was during one of my quiet times.

Thats My KING!

I am Samantha Lou Owens. I am a big boned, ghetto booty, beautiful young woman. I walk to my own rhythm. I sing to my own song. My laughter strikes the air often. Joyful is my dance. I am a lover, a fighter, a hugger. Smiles are my favorite. But most important of all of who I am…I am a follower of my Jesus, true King of the Universe, Creator of all things. That is my identity. THIS is who I am. All the things that come from me is the result of my Lord. I laugh because He brings me happiness. He brings me joy in the little things in life. Green tea. Heart earrings. Fuzzy socks. Sunshine. Little things that no one ever notices. Everyday, He repeatedly captivates my heart. He woos me until I am utterly and completely in love with my God. He knows my heart, every nook and cranny of its complicated depths. That is my King! He sees my every desire before I even know what it is. He put the passion for international places, for people who are different then me, for loners, for the broken, for the suffering, inside of me. He delights in making me smile. I can only laugh at myself when I am anxious. Anxious about my future, about the unknown looming in the near distance. You see, my King knows. My life, my future is known by my Father. He gave me the eyes to see the depths of people’s hearts. To see past the “okay”. To see how they truly are. Isn’t my Lord creative? Isnt my Lord loving? Isn’t my Lord protective? So, when I think of who I am, of everything that makes me, it all comes down to one statement. I am the daughter of the Lord God Almighty.

for laughs!

Mourning of the Trees

And I am TEEELLLINNG YOU!!!

My future kid will dance like this...


Lip syncing is SO in right now.

high off of life!

Rise up believers!

God is so amazing! He made the earth, sea, our complex minds, the air that we breathe. I feel that we realize this, but we fail to reach the total understanding of how HUGE our God really is! Of course, we cannot ever because our minds are to small for the total picture of Him. Recently, I have been hit with a new realization of how awesome the Lord really is. Guys...he is capable of anything. ANYTHING! ANYTHING! He has the ability to perform the impossible. You who are reading this know the word impossible, but do you really understand the depth of the word. HE, our Creator, has the ABILITY to perform the IMPOSSIBLE! As in things that should not, beyond our wildest imagination, ever happen!

There is a biblical saying that our faith can move mountains. Through Christ, we are able to move mountains. You know...those big sturdy , not going anywhere mounds of rock? So, why aren't we out there doing it already? Why aren't we picking a fight with Satan? It is even said in the Bible...
"And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith" Matthew 21:22
"I can do all things through him who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13
So what the heck is going on?
One ugly word. Doubt. We doubt. We are hindered from reaching the full capacity of our gifts from God because of doubt. We doubt that God will help us in financial needs. We doubt that God can heal the sick. We doubt that God can perform the IMPOSSIBLE! (Now, some may say to not group the whole group of believers in this, but every single person on this earth has experienced doubt). Now, I am guilty of this as much as the next person is. I am only now seeing how RIDICULOUS it is. I have sat by and said to the Lord, "Why aren't you taking action in the world? Why is there so much corruption? Why does it look like Satan is winning?" Well, DUH! It is because doubt is getting in our way. We doubt, then fear, then hesitate.

Our world needs us to be beacons of light. We are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14). The Lord has called us. It is time to get off our thoughts of uncertainty and charge forth with the Lord as our strength and light. He will, through us, do the IMPOSSIBLE! We just have to have faith. Our God is supernatural! He is all powerful! He is the performer of miracles! He has the ability to do the IMPOSSIBLE!

wow, can you even imagine how SCARED Satan would be if only all the children of the Lord threw their doubt away and had faith? haha! He would be peeing in his pants! So, now is the time for us to rise up together! Lets go do the outrageous! :D

I urge you to watch these two youtube videos on the nature of God...AMAZING!

Number 1
Number 2

East to West- Casting Crowns.....Word.

well, i'm sorry for not posting recently. Many things have happened. However, this song is really speaking to my heart so i decided to post it. 

lyrics

changes of the heart.

So January has started off really well. Just a few days ago I got back from Denver, Colorado where I attended a Conference that is affiliated with Campus Crusade for Christ. It was there that God broke me. We were asked to make a list of all the things that we wanted God to do that week. I wrote this down...

1. to forgive one of my friends (who remains unnamed)

2. to figure out what I'm doing with school

3. to break my selfish heart

It seems like it is alot, but you know what IS alot to God. So my main focus was on #1 of the list. I went to 2 seminars that I actually felt like were written specifically for me. The 1st one was a seminar on forgiveness. In there, the speaker gave us a step by step way to forgive someone. I was pumped. I went to Starbucks and sat down with my journal ready to forgive this person. I started to do the steps. As I started to uncover all the dislike and "hate" (i know I did not hate this person) that I had buried a long time ago, the want to forgive started to slide away. I couldnt do it. I returned to the hotel discouraged. Later that week, I got breakfast with 2 of my mentors. I told them what was happening and how annoyed i was with myself for not being able to forgive this person once and for all. Then the bomb hit. They said that I also need to ask for his forgiveness as well. I set standards over him that were not mine to set. That was God's area of expertise. Yeaaahhh....talk about bombshell...I wanted to run...and fast. The last day of DCC I set my eyes forward and went to Starbucks again. (I think that God performs miracles in Starbucks btw...think about all the talks you have had). God changed my heart as I sat there writing. I was able to forgive AND to write him a letter asking for his forgiveness. Yeah that was TOTALLY the Lord because I can definitely tell you that I am not capable of changing my heart enough to forgive him, let alone write him a letter. The glorious feeling of freedom is absolutely numbing. Seriously, my face went numb and tingly...no lie. So check one for #1 on the list. Go GOD! 

The second one now...(I also apologize for how long this is going to be).  School. EW. Recently I have been really unsettled. I just do not know why I am in school. I am a Middle School education major. I do not know why I am because I do not want to be a classroom teacher or a teacher for that matter. I know that I am going to be in ministry because that is what I have a heart for. I love to help people in their faith. I love to give advice. I love to share the word of the Lord. I have been planning on going overseas (and I say planning because God has not given me a clear no yet) as soon as I graduate. However, what am I going to graduate with? I know what I am doing, I just do not know how to get there. I was talking to one of my friends who is now studying abroad in Mexico with my roommate, Becca, and she mentioned the idea of majoring in Spanish. That would be a great idea! I love spanish. I love the culture and I know that I probably will work in a Spanish setting. Who knows. So, right now I am trying to figure out if I want to drop my education major and take Spanish on. Although I dont have a clear answer, I am more clear on the subject then I was before. Go God!

Now, for the selfish part. Lets just say that God answered that area and more...I am not going to go into it that much.

All in all, the beginning of enero has been a wonderful start. What better way to start than by really dwelling in the Lord? 

See you later Becs!

My roommate Rebecca Breanne Hughes has left the country and is now headed to Mexico for 6 months to study. I miss YOU my little otter lover!!! Life is going to be so different now. I wonder....

update on awkward post.

Just to add...that girl that I had the awkward moment with 2 posts down...yeah found out that she is dating one of my friends from high school. Does that make it more awkward?

Conquer. Fight. Win!!!

It is 3:39 A.M in the morning. All normal people are sleeping. Instead of feeling tired, I feel like I can conquer. That I can go out and fight for the Lord and WIN for the Lord. I can win as a woman. A woman. woah. I just called myself a woman. 

                           I am a woman!!! fighting for the Lord!!!

How completely scary and intimidating does that sound? 

I feel that I have finally found myself as a woman of God.

Such a glorious feeling. Such a UNUSUAL, glorious feeling that I am afraid of going to sleep. Will it fade away? 

Oh the joy of Christmas!

I am one of those people who, the day after Thanksgiving, scurries out of bed to turn on Christmas music. I dance around my room for hours, gayly singing and giggling and just being in the pure joy of the moment. Christmas is such a beautiful time of year! There is hot chocolate, snow, festive movies, jingle bells, warm cookies, ice skating, twinkly lights, bright eyes, snuggling by the fire. I feel that everything, even the most mundane of tasks, seems sunnier and happier at Christmas time. well, not everything. Finals still stink. :) HOWEVER, so many wonderful, glorious things have happened in these last few weeks of December. I feel that God has shown Himself this month a numerous amount of times whether it is from the simple things like the pine smell of Christmas trees to my awesome friends. Here are some main hits of awesomeness that has occured:

1. Finance. Fact: I was failing this class. I had to get a 82% on the final in order to pass. You might as well have told me that I needed to lasso the moon and pull it down. (yes, reference to It's a Wonderful Life). Thus, causing me to stress beyond belief. Anyways, so one of my friends, Max Anderson, asked me to go see the Mannheim Steamrollers play at Jesse with his family. Now, I know what most of you are thinking. It was not a date. It was a friend date! He knew how much I enjoyed Christmas music and thought of me! You may now go AWWWWWW. God acted through my friend Max. He gave me a break and a stress reliever. He gave me the joy of knowing how great my friends are. So, that was simply enjoyable. 

2. Finance. Fact Repeat: I was failing this class. I had to get a 82% on the final in order to pass. I studied SOOOO hard and prayed even harder! I went and I took the test. I thought i did AWFUL! So awful that I thought I was definitely going to have to take the class over. Well, I decided to check my grade. Guess what I got. A 82!!!!!!! I got a EXACT 82%!!! How good is God??? I have no doubt that that was a God moment. That DEFINITELY was not me. 

3. Me and my roommates enjoyed a daily rock out to Christmas music. Our favorite song is "All I Want for Christmas is You". 

4. One night, me and a handful of my friends went to Kansas City and ice skated. I got to catch up with everyone whom I have not seen in forever. (see picture up above)

I have had so many great laughs this month. The kind of laugh that echoes throughout corridors of the whole town. Belly shaken, breathe gasping, tears rolling, laugh. Christmas! :) I hope that you guys have had such a glorious month and that God has made you laugh and smile as he has me. So, I know this end is pretty fuzzy, but you see I am watching The Producers as I write this so currently I am watching the part of the "Be Gay". Interesting. BUT ANYWAYS, MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ! 

AWWKKWAARDD!!

So, I am a awkward person. No, I do not have a awkward gait or anything like that. Really, somehow, situations situate themselves around me resulting in a "awkward moment". I do not know HOW they do it or WHY it happens so often to me. I just accept it as part of my awesome self. Okay so I guess I'll update you on some really AWKWARD situations that have occurred with me in the recent past. Today for example. My iPod broke and so I had to go painfully replace the money sucker thing. I'm at the store and I notice the greeter girl staring at me and doing the I-Know-You look. I thought maybe she was just critiquing my ragged attire (I was grass stained, clorox scented, and leafy. Not to mention that my hair was sticking out this way and that. eh,Whats new...) So, I kept on looking down, playing with those awesome earphone, and then i would look up. There she was. Staring away. She even did the smile thing. Well, I did not want to be rude and I went up to her and asked "Do you know me or something?" OF COURSE she did. She knew my name too. First AND Last. Apparently, we danced together my freshman year. Okay, first of all...HOW THE HECK DOES SHE STILL REMEMBER ME???!!! I do and did not remember one single person in that class. I did not even have a spark of recognition to who she was or how I knew her. It was a really awkward conversation. She told me about what was going on with people whose names I did not remember. I just acted like I did. Then, she said that we should catch up sometime. That took me aback. I honestly just did not remember her. Did we have a friendship? I do not even remember creating a single friendship in that cold, mirrored room (it was cold...always cold). It was just a little crazy portion of my life that I just blocked out. I said of course because it is not like I could be like "Weeellll, I don't know. I do not really want to bring up my past again so I am going to have to say no. Sorry!" Man, that was just awkward. Downright uncomfortably AWKWAARD! I now feel I can relate a little with how a amnesiac feels who has come face to face with his past and can't remember anything. Emphasis on little. 

disappointment.

So, just a couple of weeks ago I learned that some of the Micah Boys were coming to the United States, to THE Stl just to clarify. They were not just any Micah Boys. Two of them are my closest guy friends. The third like my little brother. I have not seen these guys in two years and have had only facebook and numerous phone calls to keep in contact with them. Let me tell you...I was ecstatic, a little nervous as well. I mean I have not seen these guys in forever. I KNOW I have changed on the inside and out. That date that I was going to get to see them was circled on every calendar that I had, every person that I came in contact with I told, even my roommate was going to come with me to see them. She was excited for me because she knew how much I missed them. Then one day, I got a text. "They are not coming anymore. Couldn't get their VISA's". Disappointment warped my heart. In response, I did what I usually do when I'm upset. I buried it. I was in the middle of one hell of a week with school so I just pushed it out and concentrated on school. A day later, one of the people that I consider my "sister" called me. I knew what she wanted to talk about. You see, they were not ALL not coming. The one, my little brother, was. My two best guy friends were not. My "sister" was really close to the one that was. So, as I answered the phone I felt myself feeling mad, agitated, annoyed. Mad that she would call me to talk about it when she knew that my guy friends were not coming. Agitated just because. And annoyed of how inconsiderate she was of my feelings. I than stopped myself. If I was a user of the F word (which I am not) I would definitely used it right then and there. What the Heck! I have no right to feel this. Who am I to be annoyed with her happiness!? If I was in her position, I would be feeling the same way. The reality of my selfishness wrapped itself around my brain. Man, am I selfish! I feel that I forget how sinful I really am and how undeserving I am of God's love and grace. I appreciate these little slaps of reality. Bitter/Sweet appreciation that is. So, I guess you could say as sad as I am that my friends are not coming, God has used this...I found out something.

I am selfish. really really really selfish.

Roommates.

 

Soooo, I am just going to say right off that you should be jealous of me. No, not because I have a amazingly beautiful physique OR because I have a gorgeous red ferrari in my driveway (none of which are true...well at least the ferrari anyways. ;) ) No, you should be jealous of me because I have absolutely awesome roommates. Awesome does not really cut what I mean though. I am going to go with "Schamzy" ( a k-kountry word that means way cooler then anything that has been dubbed cool). Now, you may have great roommates as well, but I am the only one who is blessed to live with THESE 3 ladies. 

Anyways, I live with 3 girls in a cute little house that we have dubbed "The Villa". For being so completely opposite, we blend really well together. The clean, early nighters are upstairs and the messy, late nighters are downstairs (I go with the messy category). We all really only see each each other at night...mostly in the kitchen (the fact being that we all have the same stomach timers announcing that it is time to eat). However, somehow we manage to do everything together. So as you can see from the pictures upstairs, we have fun. I love them and I would say that they are considered my best friends in college.